Written by Christopher Parsons, M.A. in English, Founder of The College Planning Center. With over 25 years in education, Christopher has guided thousands of families through the admissions journey.
Key Points
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The joy once central to the college search has been replaced by stress and anxiety.
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Parents and students alike feel increasing pressure from test prep, AP classes, and résumé building.
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Choosing the right college is more important than chasing the “best” college.
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The admissions process should be about growth, curiosity, and opportunity—not fear.
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Parents, educators, and counselors play a vital role in guiding students with empathy.
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Students need reminders that they are more than test scores or résumés.
The Disappearance of Joy in the Admissions Process
After nearly 25 years in education, I’ve seen a lot of change. I’ve watched technology revolutionize classrooms, curriculum standards evolve, and the expectations placed on students grow year after year. But one shift I never expected to see—one that troubles me more deeply than any standardized test score or GPA trend—is how much joy has disappeared from the college admissions process.
Once upon a time, the college search was a season of exploration, of possibility. Students approached it with a healthy mix of curiosity and excitement, dreaming of dorm rooms, new friendships, and discovering who they’d become. But today, more often than not, I meet students who are overwhelmed, anxious, and frankly, scared. Somewhere along the way, this journey toward higher education—something that should be inspiring—has become one of the most stressful experiences of a teenager’s life.
(As of 2025, this pressure has only grown, with record-high application numbers and ongoing shifts in test-optional policies. NACAC’s data confirms that families face more uncertainty than ever before.)
A Parent’s Perspective
And now, as a parent myself, I feel this shift even more acutely.
My oldest son will graduate from Clemson University this December, and watching him thrive there—making friendships, finding his academic passions, growing into the man he’s becoming—has been one of the greatest joys of my life. I remember his college search process well. There were moments of uncertainty, yes, but also a sense of adventure. We took the time to visit campuses, to really imagine what life would look like in different places. And ultimately, he chose the school that felt right, not the one someone else said should be right. That decision made all the difference.
Now, I’m on the brink of beginning the process again with my twins, who are almost finished with their freshman year of high school. Already, I can feel the pressures starting to creep in—conversations about test prep, AP classes, extracurriculars, and “building a résumé.” But as both a parent and an educational consultant, I’m determined to approach their journey differently. I want them to feel the joy. I want them to feel excited. I want them to know that this isn’t just a process to be survived—it’s a journey to be experienced.
Remembering the Purpose Behind the Process
Yes, there are forms to fill out. Deadlines to meet. Essays to write. But let’s not lose sight of what this is all for: growth, opportunity, and the excitement of starting a new chapter of life.
How to Help Students Reclaim the Joy
So how can we help students reclaim the joy?
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Encourage them to slow down.
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Get curious instead of competitive.
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Stop chasing “the best” school and start looking for the right school.
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Take time to explore campuses not with a checklist, but with an open mind.
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Treat the personal essay as a chance to reflect and tell a story, not just impress a committee.
For everyone who plays an influential role in the college admissions process, I hope you will listen to students—really listen—to what they want out of this experience.
Reminders for Students
In the end, we all need to remind students that no college decision defines their worth.
To the students reading this: You are more than a test score. More than your résumé. You are a whole person, and this process should honor that.
Guidance for Parents
To the parents: Your belief in your child’s future is powerful, but so is your presence as a calm, supportive voice. Celebrate the small wins. Remind your student that they have options—and that life is not a race to a specific name on a sweatshirt.
A Call to Educators and Counselors
And to my fellow educators and counselors: Let’s keep being the steady hands that guide students with empathy, not pressure.
A New Evolution in College Admissions
I’ve seen the college admissions world evolve—but now, I want to be part of a new evolution: one that brings the joy back.
Because this is supposed to be fun.
Let’s help our students find that spark again.
How We Can Help
If you or your student are feeling overwhelmed by the college search process, we’re here to help. Schedule a free consultation with us at www.collegeplanningcenters.com or give us a call at 855-442-4222. At The College Planning Center, we believe this journey should be exciting, not exhausting—and we’re ready to help you find the joy again.
Key Takeaways
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The college search should be an exciting journey, not a stressful checklist.
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Students need reassurance that their worth is not tied to test scores or résumés.
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Parents play a critical role by supporting without pressuring.
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Educators and counselors must guide with empathy, not competition.
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Focusing on the “right fit” school helps students thrive long-term.
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Joy, curiosity, and growth are the heart of the college admissions journey.
Frequently Asked Questions
Many students feel overwhelmed by the pressure of standardized tests, AP classes, extracurriculars, and the expectation to build a perfect résumé.
By slowing down, approaching the search with curiosity, and focusing on finding the right college fit instead of chasing the “best” school.
Parents can provide steady, calm support by celebrating small wins, reminding students they have options, and avoiding pressure to pursue a specific school.
Yes. When treated as a chance for reflection and storytelling instead of just impressing a committee, essays can help students express who they truly are.
Students are more than test scores or résumés. Their value lies in who they are as whole people, not in any single college decision.
By listening to students, guiding them with empathy instead of pressure, and helping them see admissions as a growth journey rather than just a competition.
The “best” college may not be the right environment for a student to thrive. The right college is the one where the student feels supported, inspired, and able to grow.
Families can set the tone by prioritizing curiosity, balance, and personal growth over résumé-building and constant comparison to others.
Yes. When students and families shift their mindset from fear and pressure to exploration and discovery, the process can feel exciting again.
By offering personalized guidance, relieving stress, and helping students rediscover excitement in their journey. The goal is to make college planning exciting, not exhausting.
Special thanks to Christopher Parsons for writing this blog post.
Christopher has a strong educational background, including Doctoral studies in English Literature and Creative Writing, a Master’s Degree in English, and a Bachelor of Arts Degree in English and History. He also has a background in Mass Communications and Public Relations/Marketing.
He has successfully won scholarship offers from prestigious schools and over $250,000 in grants and scholarships. His real-world personal experience resonates well with today’s students.
